It starts as a joke. “Bet you don't even know my middle name.” They do. “Okay — my first concert?” Pause. Wrong answer. Now it's a competition, and twenty minutes later you've found out your partner of three years thinks your favorite movie is one you've never seen, and your best friend can name your childhood dog but not your job title.
That's the whole game, and it's better than most apps because the questions are about you. This page gives you 100 how well do you know me questions in five difficulty tiers, a scoring system that actually produces a verdict, and three tailored sets — partner, best friend, family — because “what's my go-to drink order?” means something different across a dinner table than across a group chat. At the end: the seven questions people get wrong most often, and why.
How to play the how well do you know me game
- Pick a set (below) and decide who's “the subject” first. The subject reads each question aloud.
- Guessers write their answer — in Notes, on paper, or typed in the chat — before the subject reveals. No verbal guessing; it turns into bargaining.
- The subject reveals and awards points: 2 for exact, 1 for close (“Italian” when the answer was “that specific pasta place” counts), 0 for wrong.
- Swap subjects after 20 questions, same set. The comparison at the end is half the fun.
- Tally and read your band from the scoring table. Then argue about the close calls.
Scoring: what your result actually means
Most lists skip scoring entirely (“it's not about winning!”), which is exactly why nobody finishes them. A score gives you something to beat next time. Two points per exact answer, one for close, out of 20 questions = 40 max. Use the same bands for 100 questions by multiplying by five.
| Score (of 40) | Band | What it means |
|---|---|---|
| 36–40 | Mind reader | You either live together or you've been paying attention for a very long time. Play the Hard tier next. |
| 28–35 | Inner circle | You know the person, not the résumé. The misses are usually childhood or family — ask about those tonight. |
| 20–27 | Solid | The normal result for a good friend or a couple under a year in. Every wrong answer here is a great conversation. |
| 12–19 | Acquaintance energy | You know what they post, not what they think. Not a verdict on the relationship — a to-do list. |
| 0–11 | Just met? | Either you actually just met, or one of you is a very private person. Either way, this was the right game to play. |
Honest note: a low score between long-term partners is usually a communication style thing, not a caring thing. Some people don't narrate their lives; you can love someone for years and never learn their first concert because it never came up. Treat the wrong answers as a list of questions to ask, not evidence.
Which set to use: partner, friend or family
| Playing with | Start with | Then | Skip |
|---|---|---|---|
| Partner (new) | Tier 1–2 (#1–40) | Partner set (P1–P20) | Tier 5 on the first go |
| Partner (years) | Tier 3–5 (#41–100) | Partner set | Tier 1 — too easy, feels patronizing |
| Best friend | Tier 2–3 (#21–60) | Friend set (F1–F20) | Partner set (obviously) |
| Family / siblings | Tier 1 + Family set (Fa1–Fa20) | Tier 4 childhood questions | Tier 5 “inner life” questions unless everyone's up for it |
| Group chat | Tier 1–2, 10 questions | Friend set | Anything with a long answer |
Tier 1: the basics (1–20) — 2 points each
Anyone who's paid attention should get these. Miss more than three and the rest of the night will be educational.
- What's my middle name?
- When's my birthday — date, not just the month?
- What's my go-to coffee or tea order?
- What's my shoe size?
- How many siblings do I have, and where am I in the order?
- What city was I born in?
- What's my phone wallpaper right now?
- What's my favorite color — the real one, not the one I say?
- What do I usually order at a fast-food place?
- What's my job title, exactly?
- Am I a morning person or a night person?
- What's my favorite season?
- What's the first thing I do when I wake up?
- What's my favorite snack?
- What kind of car did I learn to drive in?
- What's my most-used emoji?
- Which side of the bed do I sleep on?
- What's my drink order at a bar?
- What's my favorite pizza topping?
- Which do I hate more: being cold or being hot?
Tier 2: favorites and habits (21–40)
Where the guessing starts. Half of these change every couple of years, so the “I knew that in 2022” defense is accepted for one point.
- What's my favorite movie?
- What's my comfort TV show — the one I rewatch?
- What's the last song I had on repeat?
- What's my favorite restaurant?
- What's my favorite dish that I cook?
- What book have I recommended to the most people?
- What's my favorite holiday?
- What's my hidden talent?
- What's my biggest pet peeve?
- What app do I open first in the morning?
- What's my favorite way to spend a rainy Sunday?
- What's the one chore I'd pay anything to never do again?
- What's my go-to karaoke song?
- What's my favorite ice cream flavor?
- What's my dream travel destination?
- What's my favorite animal?
- What do I always order for dessert?
- What's my most-played video game or board game?
- What's my favorite article of clothing that I own?
- What's the one food I refuse to eat?
Tier 3: history (41–60)
Things that happened before you knew each other. This tier separates “knows me now” from “knows my story”.
- What was my first concert?
- What was my first job?
- What was the name of my first pet?
- What did I want to be when I grew up?
- What instrument did I play (or try to play) as a kid?
- What was my childhood nickname?
- Who was my first celebrity crush?
- What was my favorite subject in school?
- What's my most embarrassing childhood moment that I've told you about?
- Have I ever broken a bone? Which one?
- What was my first car?
- Where did I go on my first big trip without my parents?
- What sport did I play as a kid?
- Who was my best friend in elementary school?
- What was my first screen name or email address?
- What's the worst haircut I've ever had?
- What did I study (or want to study) in college?
- What was the first thing I ever won?
- What was my bedroom wall covered in as a teenager?
- What's the one thing from my childhood home I wish I still had?
Knowing someone's first concert is memory. Drawing a house the same way they draw it — same size, same placement, same order — is something else. MindMatch's Drawing Sync scores exactly that: five prompts, both draw blind, reveal together, score out of 100. No skill required; it measures instinct, not art.
Tier 4: how I think (61–80)
No facts to memorize. You have to actually model the person. This is the tier that long-term couples and lifelong best friends win on, and everyone else guesses on.
- What's the first thing I'd do if I won the lottery?
- When I'm upset, do I want advice, a hug, space, or distraction?
- What's my biggest irrational fear?
- What's the compliment I most want to hear?
- Which of my accomplishments am I most proud of?
- What would I never forgive?
- What do I complain about most but secretly enjoy?
- What stresses me out that most people find easy?
- What's my tell when I'm lying?
- What am I unreasonably competitive about?
- If I had a free day and no obligations, where would you find me?
- What's the one thing I'd grab if the house was on fire (after people and pets)?
- What's my love language — what makes me feel cared for?
- What's my biggest insecurity that I joke about?
- What would I change about my life if it were easy?
- What decision am I still second-guessing?
- What do I pretend to like but don't?
- What's the one topic that gets me talking for an hour?
- Who do I call when something goes wrong?
- What am I usually thinking about when I go quiet?
Tier 5: the inner life (81–100)
Opt in to this tier together. These are the ones where a wrong answer isn't a joke — it's information. Best with a partner or one close friend, not a group.
- What's my biggest regret?
- What's my biggest dream that I've never said out loud to most people?
- What am I most afraid of about the future?
- Who has hurt me the most, and have I forgiven them?
- What do I wish my parents understood about me?
- What's the thing I've worked hardest to change about myself?
- When was the last time I cried, and why?
- What's my definition of a successful life?
- What would I do if I only had a year left?
- What's the thing I'm most ashamed of that I've told you?
- What's something I believe that most people I know don't?
- What's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me?
- What do I secretly want more of in my life?
- What's the hardest thing I've ever been through?
- Who do I feel I have to impress?
- What do I think people misunderstand about me?
- What would I want said at my funeral?
- What have I given up on that I shouldn't have?
- What's the one thing I need from you that I've never asked for?
- What's the best day of my life so far?
How well do you know me questions for couples (P1–P20)
Questions that only make sense with a partner: about the relationship itself. This set is where “we've been together six years” pays off — and where the surprises are funniest, because you were both there.
- P1. Where exactly were we when we first met, and what was I wearing?
- P2. What was the first thing I ever texted you?
- P3. When did I first realize I liked you?
- P4. What was our first argument about?
- P5. What's my favorite thing that you do without noticing?
- P6. What's my favorite date we've been on?
- P7. What habit of yours annoyed me at first that I now find cute?
- P8. What did I tell my best friend about you after our first date?
- P9. What's the one thing you do that instantly cheers me up?
- P10. What was I most nervous about when I met your family?
- P11. What's a moment between us I bring up the most?
- P12. What's our song, according to me (not you)?
- P13. What's the gift you gave me that I loved most?
- P14. What do I say about you when you're not there?
- P15. What's the one thing I wish we did more of?
- P16. Which of your friends do I secretly find hard work?
- P17. What would I want our anniversary to look like if you planned it?
- P18. What's the nickname I've given you that I've never said to your face?
- P19. What's one thing I still find attractive about you that you'd never guess?
- P20. What's my biggest worry about us that I've only hinted at?
How well do you know me questions for friends (F1–F20)
For the group chat, a sleepover, a road trip. Nothing here needs a private room, and everything has a chance of being wrong in an entertaining way. Full 60-question friend version in our best friend quiz guide.
- F1. How did we meet — the real version?
- F2. What's my go-to excuse for cancelling plans?
- F3. What's the one thing I always order when we go out?
- F4. Who was my worst ex, according to me?
- F5. What's my most-told story?
- F6. What's the one thing you'd never let me do when I've been drinking?
- F7. What's my celebrity lookalike, according to strangers?
- F8. What's the dumbest thing we've done together?
- F9. What's my most irritating habit as a friend?
- F10. If I texted you “I need you right now,” what would you assume happened?
- F11. Which of our friends do I secretly think is the funniest?
- F12. What would my last words probably be?
- F13. What's the group-chat message of mine you've screenshotted?
- F14. What's my “I'm about to make a bad decision” face?
- F15. What's my hot take that I'll never say publicly?
- F16. What's my dream job if money didn't matter?
- F17. How would I survive a horror movie — or would I?
- F18. What's my signature dance move?
- F19. What's a trip I keep saying we should take?
- F20. What do I always claim I'll do “next year”?
How well do you know me questions for family (Fa1–Fa20)
Siblings and parents are the wildcard: they know the childhood tier cold and the present tier not at all. Which is exactly why this set exists. Play it at Thanksgiving; it beats politics.
- Fa1. What's my actual job — what do I do all day?
- Fa2. What's my favorite meal that Mom or Dad makes?
- Fa3. What was my first word?
- Fa4. Which family vacation do I remember most?
- Fa5. What did I get in trouble for most as a kid?
- Fa6. What was my imaginary friend's name, if I had one?
- Fa7. Which sibling did I fight with most, and about what?
- Fa8. What's a family tradition I secretly can't stand?
- Fa9. What's a family tradition I'd keep forever?
- Fa10. What did I want for my eighth birthday?
- Fa11. Which relative am I most like, according to everyone else?
- Fa12. What's the thing I broke and blamed on someone else?
- Fa13. What's my partner's (or best friend's) name and how did we meet?
- Fa14. What's my favorite thing about where I live now?
- Fa15. What was my worst report card comment?
- Fa16. What did I refuse to eat as a child that I love now?
- Fa17. What's a family story about me that's been exaggerated over the years?
- Fa18. What was my first Halloween costume?
- Fa19. What's one thing I've told you about my life this year that you remember?
- Fa20. What's the nicest thing I've done for this family that nobody talks about?
The 7 questions people get wrong most often (and why)
We've run this game at enough dinners to notice a pattern. If you want to win, study these.
| Question | Why it's missed | Fix |
|---|---|---|
| Favorite movie (#21) | People answer with the movie the person talks about, not the one they rewatch | Ask about the rewatch, not the recommendation |
| Middle name (#1) | Never comes up after the first year | Look at their passport |
| First concert (#41) | Answer is usually embarrassing so they've never volunteered it | Ask directly; it's a great story |
| Advice, hug, space or distraction (#62) | Guessers project their own preference | The single most useful thing to get right |
| Shoe size (#4) | Nobody knows this about anyone | Free point for whoever has bought them shoes |
| Biggest pet peeve (#29) | They have several; you have to pick the one they'd pick | Listen to what they complain about twice |
| Phone wallpaper (#7) | Changed last week | Look before the game starts (cheating, but allowed) |
Apps for a how-well-do-you-know-me quiz
Checked on the US App Store with links. If you want the questions delivered and scored automatically, these do it. Our own app measures something a questionnaire can't.
Both draw the same prompt without peeking, then reveal. Scored out of 100 on how alike your drawing instincts are — shape, placement, orientation, stroke, rhythm — not on quality. Seven ranks from Soul Twins to Past-Life Rivals.
- Price
- Free, no ads, no purchases
- Devices
- One phone (two-device mode available)
- Best for
- The round after the quiz. The quiz measures what you remember; this measures whether you think alike.
800+ “guess your partner's answer” questions, streaks, a Versus mode.
- Price
- Free with purchases (subscriptions from $4.99/wk)
- Devices
- Two phones
- Best for
- Couples who want the how-well-do-you-know-me game as a daily habit.
- Caution
- The subscription prompts are frequent.
“The Truth Comes Out” mode asks the group questions about one player; everyone writes a fake answer, the player picks the real one.
- Price
- Free with purchases ($0.99–2.99 packs)
- Devices
- Everyone's phone
- Best for
- The group version of this page — birthdays, sleepovers, video calls.
- Caution
- Ads unless you pay $2.99.
Daily quizzes where you guess each other's answers, plus therapist-written journeys.
- Price
- Free with subscription
- Devices
- Two phones
- Best for
- Long-distance couples who want a daily point of contact.
- Caution
- Most content is premium.
FAQ: how well do you know me questions
How do you play the how well do you know me game?
One person is the subject and reads a question about themselves. Everyone else writes down what they think the answer is, the subject reveals, and correct guesses score 2 points (1 for close). Swap subjects after 20 questions and compare totals.
What's a good score on a how well do you know me quiz?
Out of 40 (20 questions, 2 points each), 28+ means you know the person, not just the facts. 20–27 is normal for a good friend or a couple under a year in. Below 12 usually means one of you is private, not that anyone doesn't care.
What are good how well do you know me questions for couples?
Use the Partner set (P1–P20): first text, first argument, the date I loved most, the thing I wish we did more of. They only work with a partner, and the answers are funnier because you were both there.
What are good how well do you know me questions for friends?
The Friend set (F1–F20): my cancelling excuse, my most-told story, what you'd assume if I texted “I need you right now”. Safe for a group chat, and wrong answers are entertaining rather than hurtful.
Can we play this over text or a video call?
Yes — it's one of the better games for it. Guessers type their answer and send it before the subject reveals. See our list of <a href="./games-over-text/">games to play over text</a> for the chat version.
What if my partner scores low?
Ask which tier they missed. Missing Tier 1 basics is usually a “never came up” problem. Missing Tier 4 (how I think) is worth a conversation, but a gentle one — plenty of people are loved deeply by partners who can't name their first concert.
Drawing Sync plus Image Choice in one ten-minute sitting, one phone. The quiz tells you what you remember about each other; the Sync Course tells you whether your instincts line up. Long-term couples: go for the Old Married Couple rank.
Related guides
- 150 questions for couples — for after the quiz, when you want to fill the gaps
- Best friend quiz — the friend version, in full
- Psychology tests for two — quizzes to take together
- Games for couples on one phone